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Unless You're Passionate About It, You'll Make Excuses For Everything

Three weeks ago I decided to purchase an UPmove, made by Jawbone. We had gotten one just a week before for my mother-in-law for mothers day, because she is very active and had been wanting one. It was so much cheaper than a fitbit or fancy activity tracker, so it was only natural that I end up getting one as well. At first, I didn't think I would enjoy it because, let's face it, being active isn't something I'm passionate about. But I was literally miserable in my own skin at this point. I had gained so much weight in the past 10 years, and it needed to go. So, I figured, why not try it?

Little did I know it would create a monster inside of me -- an activity monster who must get in at least 10,000 steps a day otherwise I'd feel like a failure.

The UPmove tracks your steps, activity, food, and sleep (if you purchase the wristband). It gives you tips and tricks, and even has a personal "coach", aka "my unseen motivator". If you have friends or family who have the UPmove, you can add each other to your teams and keep track of progress, motivate one another, and so much more. 

I have thoroughly enjoyed it over the past couple of weeks. But while the UPmove has jumpstarted my motivation to be more active and lose weight, it isn't what's making me lose weight.

Let's start from the beginning.....

Fall 2005 -- I was 18 and 148 lbs. Mark was 21. We got engaged 3 months later and married 2 months after that.
I was the smallest I have ever been at the age of 17/18. I weighed about 148 lbs, which was perfect for my body frame. I was a very active teenager and young adult, jogging miles each day when living at home before I got married. Of course, I thought I was fat then too. Mark and I got married when I was 18, and within 2 years I had gained 20lbs -- I now weighed 168 lbs. If I thought I was fat at 148, I thought I was horrid looking at 168 lbs. 

Fast forwarding again, my pregnancy with my son. I weighed just under 200 lbs when I gave birth to him -- I was 185 lbs the day before I gave birth, and he was an 8 lb baby. However, since I was so sick my entire pregnancy and had lost weight during my pregnancy, I actually lost all of my baby weight within the first 2 weeks of postpartum since I had only gained 20 lbs. I was back into my pre-pregnancy jeans at 2 weeks postpartum and I was lovin' it. I was back to 165 lbs and I was so happy about that ....but then, the weight came. 

Pregnant with Jr -- 2009. 185 lbs

2012 -- 180 lbs

Christmas photos 2013 -- 200 lbs (Mark has since lost a lot of his weight) -- I hated my hair like this, btw!
By the time Jr was three, I weighed 185 lbs. And now, my weigh in before I began losing weight 2 weeks ago was 207 lbs. You have got to be kidding me. I.am.miserable. There have been so many times when people say there's no way I could weigh that much, because I have such a small body frame to begin with. There have been so many times when people comment about how beautiful I am and blah blah blah. And my husband doesn't help either, because he honestly can't keep his hands off of me no matter what weight I am -- he truly believes I'm beautiful either way. And while that is absolutely incredible, I had gotten comfortable with that

I may have looked happy and been confident in myself, because I was and still am confident in who I am in Christ, but I was miserable in my own skin.

And most of all, three weeks ago, I absolutely refused to buy new clothes because I was getting fatter. This is not how a young mom should look. I should be fit and vibrant like I used to be. I should want to look good for my husband and be active for my very active son. I should want to be a good example for him, most of all. I want to be thin and be comfortable in my clothes. Not because society tells me I have to, but because I want to. Most of all, I want to feel good about myself.

Three weeks ago, I began this journey.....

left (week 1) -- right (week 3)
The photo on the left was 3 weeks ago, the photo on the right is week 3 (this morning). 

My arms have shrunk a bit, my back has smoothed out, my butt shrank (husband isn't too happy about that but he's learning to enjoy its firmness again!), my legs have gotten a LOT smaller, and my lower belly is almost completely gone. Yes, you read that right, it's almost gone. I also have a sports bra on in week 3, so no, my chest hasn't shrank that much!

It might not be a lot, but it is progress. And I'm happy with progress. I have set a goal of losing 40 lbs by September, but honestly, it is unrealistic. Your weight doesn't mean a single thing. The way you feel about your body does. 

So, people have been asking me, how have you done it? And, what plan are you using? Well, that's the beauty of it. It's not a plan. I haven't been going to the gym every week (dear Lord, you'll never catch me in that filthy place!)


I've become passionate about it.

I've become serious about it.

I've placed it in the hands of my Savior and food is no longer an idol to me. 

I have been liberated from feeling sorry for myself when I can't have snacks that I want. I can have those snacks, but I question myself, are those snacks good for me? And most of the time, I refuse them because I just don't want them

My mindset has changed -- and that's how I've done this.  

A Fitbit isn't going to make you lose weight just like a spoon isn't going to make you fat.

YOU have to make the decision to do it. YOU have to take control of your life and say "this isn't how my life should be". YOU have to make that conscious effort to move more often and eat real food

...because unless you're passionate about it....you'll continue to make excuses as to why you aren't losing weight.

I'm excited to see where the next 3 weeks brings me. The funny thing? I have only lost 10 lbs, then gained 5 lbs back because my muscles have begun to develop (muscle weighs more than fat!!). 

Throw the scale out, and just do what you do and then do it again!

I'll try to keep the blog posted with updates, but the best place to find them will be on instagram -- @thefewellhomestead 

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