Herbs & Things

Herbs & Things
Herbs & Things

My Book

My Book
My Book



{Personal Journey} "Give it a try...," whisper's the heart.

I am dog tired this morning. I am exhausted, my body aches, I have a headache (on top of other womanly issues today), and the cloudy sky is not a friend to my already downtrodden body. 

I woke up early, made husband his coffee and lunch -- drank a quart of coffee myself, it seemed. 

My eyes are still scratchy from dusting 38 chickens with Sevin dust yesterday...yes, Sevin dust. Don't judge me unless you've got good reason...because when there are hundreds of lice crawling on a few chickens, you must kill them or douse yourself in gasoline...one or the other. That's a whole other story, don't get me started. I'm getting over it slowly, but I learned my lesson the hard way when bringing new chickens into our flock, even if from a trusted source.

My week has been anything but routine. And it shows in my dirty floor, kitchen sink, and the water that's standing on the bathroom floor from my 4 year old "brushing his teeth". 

My 4 year old will be 5 at the end of this month.

And time continues....

I felt defeated before I ever woke up this morning, and then I opened my Bible...

I've been on a journey of learning about David and Solomon. I really don't know why. But ever since I finished my Job study, I've been reading about David and Solomon. What started as a Bible study about Solomon, quickly turned into something so much more. But it has taken me this long to get back on track with it....months. 

As I sit here and crack my neck, trying to get the stiffness out...

I haven't talked to God much this week. But I see Him everywhere.

In the tomatoes that are blossoming on my vines. In the pup hiding Jr's toys in a freshly dug hole. In the patience I have when I wash the dog off with the hose, calmly telling myself, "this too will pass, enjoy it". 

I see Him in Jr's innocence....in his smile when he holds his BB gun, and says, "mama, take a photo of me".

But when I opened my Bible this morning, there He was. Right there in front of me....with arms as wide open as they were when I last left Him...too long ago.

I started reading the Psalms this morning, after going through chapters in previous books about kings and wars and nothing that really had my attention. There He was...

I know that my God watches over us, even when we aren't faithful to Him. He is so incredibly faithful to us. He has never ever left us or forsaken us. 

And somehow, a little bit of strength comes, but not my own....

When I closed my Bible this morning, I got on facebook. Naturally...duh. 

But God was there too. 

So many of you know some of the struggles I've been dealing with over the past year. Some of you have been going through them with me as well.

And I kept seeing this quote, all.over.facebook. this morning. It was everywhere. Every page I clicked on, every time I refreshed my newsfeed....other's had posted and reposted it. 

So many times, even this morning, I told myself these things...

It's impossible...

It's too risky...I'm happy with my life right now.

It's pointless, even if I did want it badly enough, it would never happen.

In fact, I was saying those same exact things this morning when I saw this quote....

And I read another Psalm...
"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers,the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?"
 I saw a woman post a pregnancy test this morning, but it wasn't the "oh look we've been trying for a month and I'm already pregnant," post...

She explained her joy as a miracle, how she had been infertile for over 10 years, and now, completely taken off guard, she was expecting, simply due to the fact that she has changed her lifestyle into a healthy all natural one.

And I cried.

And I laughed.

And I rejoiced with her, because my week had been far from easy, and I needed something to rejoice in.

I rejoiced with her because the angels were rejoicing with her.

And there was God, and my heart whispered...."give it a try..."

Not just in fertility.

Not just in a healthier lifestyle, which we have already started.

Not just in tending to farm animals, raising our own food, trying to go all organic and chemical free, or in homesteading.

Not in trying to keep the floors mopped, dishes done, laundry put away....

Not just in taking time out to just "be" with my Savior.

But in everything...

What is man, that you are mindful of him? That you care for him? You created the heavens and the earth...the stars rest in your hands. What am I, who am I, that You should even care about my hurts, my pains, my frustrations, and the stiffness in my neck?

I am constantly amazed by the God I serve...the one who came to serve, rather than be served.

I am constantly amazed by Him, because He cares for me, even though He doesn't have to...

...He cares for me, because I am His daughter...

...He cares for me, even when I could care less about Him...

And so, in the stillness of the morning, my heart whispers, "...give it a try."

And there He is....


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