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Daily Ramblings | Blessings + Identity

I have been working on a blog for over 3 weeks now, waiting to post it, wanting to post it....only for God to take my writings into a completely different direction. Today is one of those days. I was planning on finishing and posting my regular blog, but instead, I'm posting a daily rambling. 

This blog post started this Sunday, in all actuality, I just didn't know it yet....nor had I started writing it. Here is how God works. My little family and I decided to bless someone on Sunday. I don't feel the need to say what it was, who it was, or why. There's no need to boast or flaunt. We just did it. Because that's just what Jesus would do. "Just do it"....in a 'pay it forward' kind of way. Today, Thursday, not more than 4 days later, I received a blessing in the mail from a family member saying "grab a pizza on me one night", along with some other little trinkets she sent along. Can I just tell you right now how amazingly blessed I was to receive that little note and the 'free dinner'. Why? Because God is faithful, and He see's our unselfish giving and blessings to others, and He blesses us. Did He bless us simply because we blessed someone else? No. But I know that He plans everything according to His good and perfect will, and He knew that today, this week, more than any day or week, it would bless me the most...that I would receive the most out of this little note and blessing. Click here to

The second part of this blog is titled "Identity", and this is a long winded story...so bare with me for 5 mins. It does also tie into 'blessings'.

Yesterday morning my husband called me and told me to listen to a podcast that he had uploaded on iTunes. Let me just say, my husband is the podcast king. That man has listened to so many podcast's....I've lost count...like, I lost count even just 2 months ago. Hundreds of them, I'm sure. Anyway, he called to tell me to listen to one of Mark Driscoll's podcast's that he uploaded the night before. Now, with that said, I have an almost 4 year old little boy running around my house all day long. A 2 hour podcast might be listened to, but I will get absolutely nothing out of it. I am horrible at multitasking. But it just so happens that our brand new little Roku device has the actual videos of these podcast's (which, I prefer to watch instead of just listen), so I sat down last night and watched the sermon. Oh.My.Gracious. It was definitely an "I needed to hear this right now" sermon, but it was also an "everyone needs to hear this right now" sermon. I encourage you (in fact, I would command you to watch it if I could, but I can't :) ), to listen and/or watch the sermon this evening or when you have time at some point today. And if you have a spouse, certainly watch it with them as well! Click here to watch the video. I'm serious, please please please please watch it. ALL of it. But especially when he starts telling us "who" we are as laid out in the Bible by Christ Himself. It's not one of those lovey-dovey videos of "oh you are sooo loved" or "oh you are so awesome!" or "ohhh, this is your best life ever". No no, it is real, it is true. We are amazing creatures. I can't wait to watch the next sermon in this 16 part series.

Now, with that said, here is what has happened since yesterday evening after watching the sermon.
First of all, I could completely feel the presence of God the closer I got to the end of the video last night. It's like God punched me right in the gut, but in a weird and loving kind of way. One of the biggest things I got out of Mark Driscoll's sermon was when he said, who you are determines what you do...rather than, what you do determines who you are. Did you catch that? You'll understand it more when you watch the video.

When we realize our identity in Christ, who we were created to be....what we were created to be, it is mind blowing and life altering. It causes me to want to be a better Christian, a better wife, a better mother, a better person. But most of all, it made me realize that I'm not living the way I was created to live. I'm not living out my true identity. Yes, I'm a Christian. Yes, I'm a wife, Yes, I'm a mother. Yes, I'm all those things and all of those things are part of my identity....but they are simply explanations of my identity. Each and every single one of us were created for greatness. The Boston Bomber, the kid who killed all of those children in Newtown, CT -- they all have identities, God cares about them too, not just "the good guys". His heart breaks for those young men -- they have lost their identity and taken on worldly ones.

Many of us are embracing our worldly identities -- we are not embracing our Christ given identities, because we get too caught up in what we "think" we are or where we "think" we should be or how we "think" we should act. We are bloggers, parents, spouses, friends, authors, employees, managers,....but that's not who we are. We are 'works' minded, yet in Genesis it clearly states that God blessed Adam and Eve before they ever did anything for or to God. We are blessed, period. Each of us has a calling and an identity in Christ, but I can comfortably say that I doubt 50% of us are probably even doing what God called us to do because our identities are so completely drowned out but this world. We think we're doing what God wants us to do, and then competition and bitterness sets in when worship leaders become rock stars, youth leaders become teenagers instead of mentors, and Pastors preach the same sermon every week just so they can get a paycheck. That's not who we are, and if you are doing what God has called you to do, bitterness and competition won't be a part of it....you'll know the difference. And again I say, watch the video.

Bringing all of this to a head -- I had a meeting for work today. It's warm here in Virginia, but we love it since it's not quite scorching yet. After my meeting I had to run some errands and then I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to drop a bag off to my sister before I left town. I huffed and puffed and mumbled and groaned. Seriously, do I seriously have to get out of my vehicle and walk up 2 flights of stairs to drop a bag off to her? I called her to see if she could come downstairs and meet me, but she couldn't. I thought it might be better to make her leave her job for 5 mins and sweat her butt off just so I didn't have to...how nice of me. Mumble grumble. So, I sucked it up and marched my fat tub o' lard butt up to her office. When I walked in, I noticed the woman sitting at the front desk. She had a pretty smile and was very sweet. I kept thinking to myself, "I hope she doesn't see my sweat soaked back...how embarrassing." I walked back to my sisters office and gave her the bag, chatted a few mins, and then started walking back to the front of the office. I caught the woman looking at me from the corner of her eye when I was walking back up to the front. So I just felt like I needed to tell her to have a wonderful day and weekend. She said thank you and you as well -- I walked back to my car and that was that. Whew, done.

On my way home my sister text messaged me and said, "The lady up front messaged me and said you're an angel. I asked her why and she said that it was in your smile and your words and your walk...that she could feel your spirit when you walked by." My spirit, she could feel my spirit. I cannot tell you how blessed I felt when I received these text messages from my sister, in fact, I really couldn't even reply to her because I was just beside myself. And then it all clicked. God has so much in store for my life, as a wife and mother...yes, but also as an individual -- if I would just see myself as my identity in Him, not as my identity in this world. I am not the sweat rolling down my back onto my t-shirt. I am not the girl who works three jobs so that she can work from home with her son. I am not the person who has been lied about by others in the past year -- I am not what people say about me, I am what God says about me. I am not the housewife who is horrible at folding laundry. I am not what this world says that I am. I am what God says I am. I am not the mistake I made yesterday, I am the grace that is new every morning. And until I fully and completely embrace that, I'm stuck here...with this attitude, with this outlook, with this job, with this and that. I feel like God wants to thrust me into something, I've felt that way for awhile. But He can't, not until I fully embrace His identity that He's given me, that He's placed on me, that He's blessed me with. I am so much more than I "think" I am. You are so much more than you "think" you are. And half of the things you think you are, you probably aren't. They are just character traits or habits that you've embraced along the way. We are here to reflect, to be a mirror reflecting Christ...not to be Christ, but to reflect Him. It is not until we realize our complete and total identity in Him that we can fully achieve that. I want to be like Christ, not be Christ. I want to reflect Him, not what I "think" He is. And I don't want to reflect my warped image of Him either.

It's hard to explain, really. But I know that God is working on me now more than ever. For months I have been fighting with the thought of "well, what will they think of me" or "what will they say about me". And last night, that all disappeared. I need to change, in so many ways. We all do, if we actually just sit down and think about it. Watch the video, take it in. I assure you, God will touch your heart and begin a change in you. He will reveal your identity to you.

Today I just feel so amazingly blessed. Why? It's not because of the gift I received in the mail. It's not because of the woman sharing her experience with me this afternoon -- though those two things have certainly blessed me today beyond comprehension. It's simply because God is revealing my identity to me, the identity He placed on me from the beginning....not the one that everyone else has placed on me or says I should be, be it recently, of from the beginning of my own life.

I would really love to hear from you if you do take the time to watch the video. Please feel free to share!

That's enough rambling from me today :)

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